Transgender: An Ally’s Perspective

I was talking to someone today and somehow it came up that I knew a lot of transboys.  “They must be confused.” They said.  I furrowed my brows and shook my head, “No, they aren’t confused.  They just have the wrong body.”

I know that people understand male and female.  Everyone is aware of their gender from the moment they can understand anything.  But not everyone understands transgendered.  Transgendered is not confusion or anything like that – in fact it is quite the opposite.  It’s a deep knowing that the gender assigned to their body doesn’t match the gender in their mind.

Some people who are transgendered know from the very beginning that their body doesn’t match what’s inside.  Others, go on quite a journey to figure it out.  It’s probably really hard for most cis-gendered people to imagine what it is like to feel like an alien to your own body.  The closest metaphor I can use to explain the discomfort is it’s like the dream that you’re naked/in your underwear and everyone else is clothed and staring.  It makes you really self aware and very uncomfortable.  It’s like everyone else blends in and fit but you’re the missing a piece to the puzzle.

I feel for my transgendered brothers and sisters.  It’s not easy by any means standing up and saying, “Hey, this body isn’t right for me.”  Nor is it easy to go through the steps to set the body to match the mind.

I don’t know much about the transition process.  It’s a series of surgeries and injections.  It takes it’s toll.  Some transgendered people chose not to transition due to all the risks.  If they can’t “pass” they will be plagued in life being boxed into a box that doesn’t fit.

Every three days in developed countries a transgendered person is murdered.  Also, transgendered people are often left in the dust by gays and lesbians organizations who are trying to assimilate, most notably the HRC.

Not only are they abandoned by their supposed allies, things that people take for granted as being status-quo can be a threat to transgendered individuals safety.  For example, going to the bathroom.  No big deal for your average man or woman – but if you are a man in a woman’s body or a woman in a man’s body, it can be a very dangerous situation.

The point of all this is that transgender people are usually really awesome and don’t deserve such bad treatment by society, gays, and lesbians.  Being transgendered is no more someone’s fault than being left handed.  It’s just how they are made.

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2 Responses to “Transgender: An Ally’s Perspective”

  1. Draco Says:

    Overall- great post. I completely agree. The invisible T needs to be seen /represented during more than just the Pride parade every June, & then only marginally. Have a great Chrismahanukwanzayulestice. I’m glad to have met you this year. Look forward to reading more disseminations & chatting in 2010.
    —-Drake

  2. Katy Blagg Says:

    I too have the same perspective on Transgendered amongst many other diverse differences we all have as humans.

    I believe the condition of society takes 80% of it all. TV probably the rest. Lol.. But naturally that’s on a playful scale rather than accurate.

    I enjoyed to read your view & in all honesty find it refreshing to hear another non judgmental and kind individual expressing themselves. Especially in the area of such a touchy subject.

    Will things ever change?

    We can only hope.

    Regards, Katy.

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