On Revenge

I was talking to my friend the other day about revenge. Rather, she was working on a song for her band about it. The lyrics she shared with me went, “It’s not revenge, it’s justice!” The author of said lyrics and I have totally different views.

I don’t believe in revenge. I think it’s really childish – almost as childish as doing something that would warrant someone wanting to take revenge. Not to say I haven’t been hurt before, wronged, or given hell. I have. I’ve had peers mistreat me, tons of teachers, and even people that I have trusted as friends. I don’t walk around with a block on my shoulder because of it. Even when I was assaulted – my main concern wasn’t about “getting back” at my attacker – it was more wanting him to get help because something wasn’t right in his head that he would assault someone. I tend to operate out of general compassion for all beings.

Over the years, I have come to learn that usually I am not the problem. Rather, other people’s insecurities, jealousies, or short comings make them do mean and nasty things. It usually has nothing to do with me other then the fact I am at the wrong place at the wrong time. People’s ignorance is also a cause.

When I was in elementary school, I was so shy. I didn’t really know how to make friends. Sometimes I still don’t. I was such a mess from coming from a broken home that I didn’t feel I was worthy of human companionship. Some of the girls in the class took to not liking me because I was different. They would whisper behind my back and quickly dispersed when I approached. I never did anything to anyone but there was a wall there that even if I wanted to be their friends – they wouldn’t let me. There was an incident where the whole class was invited to a Halloween party except for me. I was the smartest person in the class – but someone else got the title as brain – as my peers didn’t want to include me. It was weird, it was like being invisible.

Sometimes I would wish I could change places with one of the other girl’s in my class. Not for long, but for a day so maybe they could see what my life was like. Their lives looked like rainbows and kittens to the invisibility I was facing at school to being verbally abused at home.

I never wanted revenge though. All I ever wanted was to show others what it was like. Maybe it is rather idealistic to think that if people saw the whole picture – they’d realized that we’re all human and get along.

For me, the best revenge I can ever get against someone who’s wrong me is living a happy and healthy life. I am awesome and I only had to put up with the hostile treatment for a time. They have to live with themselves for the rest of their life. That in itself is a far worse punishment than anything I could ever do.

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